Week 21. It feels nice to have fewer weeks to go than have already gone by. At the same time, I really want the time to go slowly - there is so much to happen between now & December whatever. Mostly, of course, there is baby growing & being ready to exist outside his/her current home :)

Sunday night, baby was kicking so hard that it HURT! I could see my belly moving, and so could Joe. When I tried to have him feel baby, s/he stopped moving. Of course. Isn't that the way it always goes?

I'm excited by a couple of projects right now. I bought the fabric to make one of the quilts I want to make today - I'm giving all 12 of the kids white squares to decorate with colorful sharpie markers, then combining them all to make a quilt. I'm totally psyched with the colors, and really want to encourage the kids to make their squares thoughtful & beautiful.

I'm also really excited to make some of these baby gowns sewn from old t-shirts. Of course I need some old t-shirts that will work - anyone local have any to donate? I need men's larges or bigger.... (Women's XL's will work, too!)

I had one of my 'moments' today. I had been painting at Sego Lily School, and went out after to spend the day with Athan. We were at his favorite place eating lunch, and a woman about my age commented on the paint on my arms (and probably in my hair, too, I still haven't looked in the mirror to check for that!). The conversation went like this:

her: You have something on your arm.
Me: Oh, it's paint, I must have missed a spot when I cleaned up.
her: Somebody's been creating a nursery!
Me: (silence). Thanks. (walk away)

OK, so here is the thing. I don't DO nurseries. Yes, Kevin & I made one for Corbin before he was born; he never slept in it until he was about 8. Or maybe 10. I haven't bothered with one since. So in some ways, her comment was no biggie, right? But I felt assaulted with the cultural expectation that in another 19 weeks or so, I would be taking my baby - the baby that I had just spent 40 weeks growing, connecting with, loving, bonding to - and stick him or her in isolation in another room in my house. The idea of taking your brand new baby and getting it AWAY from you that is implied by a nursery just makes me gag. And while this woman meant none of this in her innocent comment, she meant all of it. She said, without saying, "Oh, here is another woman working hard to create a space where she can get rid of that nuisance she is carrying around! Good for her!" And it pissed me off.

I know that in many ways, many of my parenting views are considered pretty radical. But really, how many more studies need to be done to convince the American public that our babies need to be with us? How many more babies need to die from SIDS before we realize that sleeping with our children is good for them? (there has never been one single SIDS death related to safe co-sleeping). How many more women need to spend the first critical months of their babies lives exhausted from getting up all night before they realize how much easier it is to roll over & nurse your baby than it is to get up from bed, trek across a house, and comfort a now screaming, upset infant?

So no, I was not painting a nursery today. Nor will I be, at any time. Not for one of my own babies, anyway. And honestly, I can't imagine being convinced to do it as a favor for anyone else, either. I'd be too busy trying to get the mommy-to-be to change her mind about the need for a nursery, and recommending articles on safe co-sleeping. You really need to decorate? Make a corner over the changing table. And if you see me with paint on your arms, know that Sego Lily is getting a make-over this summer. That's it.

oh, and right now, baby has hiccups again :)