Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Week 39/40

Today is my first EDD. Which means people are calling, texting, and emailing to see if we have a baby yet. Because, you know, we are for sure going to keep it a big secret when it happens, right???

Anyway. All day Sunday & Sunday night I was having regular, strong contractions. The problem is that they were only hurting in my tailbone, which is usually an indication of a positioning problem. I called my midwife Monday morning for advice, and she gave me a few stretching issues to do that would hopefully help bring baby back up a bit, and then back down into a better position. They seemed to have worked.

Physical update: Because of my concern about positioning, I decided to have her do an exam. It's probably the only one I will have, unless I decide to opt for one during labor, but that is doubtful. At this point, I am very 'ripe', about 50% effaced, about 1-2 cm dilated, baby is fully engaged, ROA (optimal birthing position for those who don't know), and everything looks good with me & baby. I was ordered to eat a good meal, have a BIG glass of wine, and get some sleep. I did, and I have to say that while I still got up to pee 5-6 times last night, it was the best night of sleep I have had for awhile.

Emotional update: Today was the best I have felt in weeks. I woke up NOT thinking 'maybe we will have a baby today!' which was nice because every day I wake up feeling that way becomes a disappointment when I wake up the next morning still pregnant. I think the combo of the good night's sleep, the absence of very many contractions, and the fact that only about 5% of babies are actually born on their due dates made me feel like there is no way today would be the day. At this point, unless I have a rocking fast (less than 5 hour) labor, today is NOT the day.

Which brings me to a thought: Last night, as Cathy was packing up and making a few final notes in my chart, she asked, 'You aren't one of those moms that wants a 12/12/12 baby like everyone else, are you?' To which I replied a big NO. Numerologically, tomorrow is an 11 - briefly, "High spiritual plane, intuitive, illumination, idealist, a dreamer." I have no problem with any of those characteristics, (and actually I think it's a beautiful thing!) except for the fact that both of the baby names I have picked out (boy & girl) are also 11's. I have already considered changing the spellings a bit just to avoid putting that designation on a child, but I feel like those are the names that came to me - s/he must really want them. In other words, it is who s/he is, but lordy I don't think we need to complicate it with a birthdate of the same numerology...

I had another thought about tomorrow's date as well. I would be very interested to see the statistics on the number of planned inductions and cesareans for tomorrow. I would be willing to put a lot of money on their being an increase, you know, because it's such a cool birthday! It is a cool birthday. It's also an opportunity to bring in a whole lot of children on a very high spiritual plane, who will be dreamers... which could be a blessing, depending on how many of them are also beings who can get things done & make a difference in the world. Or maybe they will all end up like little Tibetan monks, and we will worship at their feet... Either way, I doubt many, if any, of the women who have scheduled births tomorrow are aware of the energetics surrounding the date. But who knows, maybe this is the universe's way of ensuring we get a whole bunch of spiritually enlightened beings to show up right now.

I'm not saying I will be crossing my legs if I go into labor before tomorrow is over. My sense is that this baby will show up on the 13th, but that's just because both Athan & Corbin have birthdays on the 13th of their months (as do my brother, my Grandfather, and a dear friend). But I also thought this baby was coming on the 4th and I was obviously wrong about that. I guess we will all just have to wait and see... but please, don't call me. Watch your facebook feed, I promise you will know! 

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Week 38/39

Today is either 1 or 2 weeks until my EDD (estimated due date). Normally, at this stage in pregnancy, I am feeling tired, excited of course, but patient enough to wait that last week or two. This time around, I hit the "Fuck this I am tired of being pregnant" point about a week ago. I think it has a lot to do with the already 3 weeks of early labor I have been experiencing. Off & on, constantly, usually too much to totally ignore but not enough to get serious about, either. It's frustrating, but more than that, exhausting.

Last night, for example, I think I managed a total of 3.5 hours of sleep. Went to bed around 11, couldn't sleep because I was feeling so yucky. Every time I dozed off, I would get up to pee. Somewhere in the middle of the night (Maybe 2am?) I went to the bathroom & couldn't fall back to sleep for almost 2 hours because of contractions. Between about 4:30-6 I must have slept; went back to sleep around 7 and was up at 8:30. Honestly, I know I will get more sleep when the baby gets here than I am right now. Waking every 2-3 hours to feed & change a baby is nothing compared to this constant 30-45 minute mini sleep cycles.

So yeah, I'm in 'grumpy bitchy pregnant woman mode' at this point. I had some nesting energy earlier in the week - cleaned the whole basement on Friday, cleaned out the fridge yesterday, that sort of thing. I'm thinking about cleaning out the pantry today, not because I have that same nesting urge, but because I'm so grumpy I need something to do so that I don't just bite the head off of anyone who gets too close to me. I KNOW I need a good nap today, and I am hoping that happens. Tomorrow, I'm going to get a Labor Stimulation Massage at SL Prenatal Massage, and hope that kicks all of this prodromal labor into action. At least I will be relaxed. I hope.

Of course, there is a long list of stuff bugging me right now, and I know it is due mostly to exhaustion. I am grateful that baby has dropped so low that walking up & down the stairs is not as much of a problem (have plenty of lung capacity again!) and the heartburn has become manageable. I'd really like to get our bills paid today before the baby comes, but for some reason (actually I am pretty clear about the reasons, but I'm not going into them here) our monthly transfer has still not come in. It was supposed to be here Friday. Which also means we have no $ for groceries, or a nice little walking trip even through a thrift store. That is definitely not helping my mood.... Neither is the fact that holiday traffic makes is annoying to be out & about, or the dog prints on the carpet by the back door, or the pain in my sciatic nerve, etc.... Yeah. Bitchy grumpy pregnant woman, lol. I feel like such a stereotype.



In happier news, this past Saturday was my Mama Blessing. It was a wonderful gathering of women - we ate, told birth stories, painted by belly with Henna, decorated onsies for the baby, and I was given some wonderful - and very touching - gifts. I literally need/want NOTHING for the baby now except a diaper pail. Alyssa made the most beautiful purple diaper cake! It was the only thing I really asked for (I have always loved those things, and I needed a few more cloth diapers). I used several of the gifts I was given, plus some other items I had been saving, and created my 'birth alter' next to the bed. The pool is blown up & ready to be filled. My room is ready. So really, baby, come on. It's time to come out and play. Seriously.